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Wed, Dec. 14th, 2005, 08:25 pm



Kankurou and Blondie
NarutoHS challenge. 260 words.
Dec 14, 2005
x-posted to the NHS OOC page.

Like everyone else, Kankurou had a secret, guilty pleasure. Not the Mary Jane… that one was fully publicized and exercised with all alacrity. No, Kankurou’s secret love was bad Eighties music, and above all, Blondie. Deborah Harry was his idol, his goddess, his muse. And it was a well-hidden joy, since he so devoutly cultivated the Boyd George punk look. Nobody would guess he loved bad synthesizers and pouty blonds…

Except for one. The pouty blond he called “sister.”

“Kankurou, I swear if you don’t turn that crap down I’m going drive over your records with your own damn Daewoo!”

A mad scrabble, a heart-wrenching cry: “Stuff it, Temari, or your boyfriend’s gonna get Kanked Up Hard!” (It seems that Kankurou’s been taking speech lessons from Gai.)

But. The all-important but. After the howl of rage, the cheesy music subsides, followed by a jingling and the unpleasant sounds of someone trying to swallow his own key ring.

“There! Now just you try to run over my collection! Hah! You can’t, can you, because my keys are now safely in The Kank’s belly!” He basks for a moment in his own genius, secure in his own personal cloud of happy smoke.

“Have you never heard of hotwiring?”

And, foiled again. So he retires with his happy cloud and his internalized car keys, which have begun to speak to him. He will sit and wait and plot until his beautiful, beautiful music may be avenged, and the Key Gods appeased with a sacrifice. A mouthy, pouty blond sacrifice, ever so conveniently.

Thu, Dec. 15th, 2005 08:45 pm (UTC)
panksters

My dad likes Blondie. And I love you. Who wins here?

Fri, Dec. 16th, 2005 12:35 am (UTC)
kotetzumo

I dunno. I'm inclined to think Temari does, for a number of reasons.

1) Kankurou did turn it down
2) Even if he's swallowed his keys, she could hotwire his car
3) Anyone who swallows stuff like keys has obviously forgotten the adage "This too shall pass" and probably deserves negative points.
4) I'm inclined to think Kankurou's "blond sacrifice" of Temari is more like doped up daydreaming as opposed to actual familial slaying. We'll leave that one up to the darling Uchiha boys.

Fri, Dec. 16th, 2005 01:21 am (UTC)
sasugay

Uchiha boys? I see no penis-on-penis action here.

Fri, Dec. 16th, 2005 06:59 am (UTC)
doctor_sasuke

YEAH OMG.

WHERES THE SMUT

Fri, Dec. 16th, 2005 07:05 am (UTC)
kotetzumo

What? Smut? I was talking about the whole familiy killing. Killing, not kissing.

Fri, Dec. 16th, 2005 04:23 pm (UTC)
kankinator

HARHARHAR HOT DAMN YOU DA SHIT XD
...
i mean, i love it very much. thank you.

Thu, Dec. 22nd, 2005 10:46 pm (UTC)
(Anonymous)


Hey Kotetsu, Merry Christmas

http://www.abovetheorangetrees.com/journal/archives/nails.jpg